yin and yang

Just some quick thoughts while the offspring sleep. At the same time, woop woop!

Today we went to storytime at Barnes and Noble for the first time. Whenever we are in an unfamiliar social setting, it is fascinating to observe the reactions of both children.

Simone stays close and wants to sit in my lap, extremely interested in the actual point of the gathering: to listen to the books being read.

Everett is near us for maybe 5 seconds, then he is wandering around, checking out the place and the people, finding pretty new hair to play with, leaning on another mother's shoulder, walking up to the storyteller to sit next to her.

I love both of them and I love who they are - each so different and interesting. I don't know why Simone is so reserved and self-conscious. I don't know why Everett loves the world and everyone in it. Especially since he was born during the most tumultuous time in our lives, and Simone was born during a very stable time in our lives.

I learn a lot from both of them. Simone is always thinking and asking. She spends a lot of time in her head. She said to me yesterday that she wants there to be a day that doesn't have a name. She's tired of every day being Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc, and she wants there to be a special day in between all the other ones that doesn't have a name. She was also almost in tears this summer when I told her she could probably never taste a cloud. "But they look so GOOD!! I want to ride up there on one and eat it! Please, Mama!? How can I do that?!" She has asked multiple times the meaning of life, basically. She'll say, "Why am I here, Mama? How did I get here? Why am I in life? One good thing about life is that we get Everett, so that's good, because he's so cute."

She's a thinker. And my prayer for her is that she'll still have a joyful spirit. She does now because she's a little girl, but can an introspective person be truly joyful?

I actually wanted to write about Everett, because what he is showing me, and I think it is a fundamental truth of life and living on this earth its' diversity, is that there are no strangers. We are all so connected and intertwined. God is in all of us - He is our ineffable connection. Brother, sister, you, me, God.

Have you ever heard of Thomas Merton's epiphany on the corner of 4th and Walnut where he "suddenly realized that I love all people and that none of them were, or could be, totally alien to me. As if waking from a dream - the dream of separateness."

Watching Everett is a lot like that. He is scared of almost no one. He loves almost everyone, and treats them all equally.

He amuses himself all day long. He'll say a combination of words that he knows, "Ha-hum (vacuum), poop, keys," and then burst into laughter, as if the simple existence of those things and the fact that he can say them is reason enough to be glad.

He's a mixed bag though, because he also wakes up shrieking at 5 am and hits anyone and everyone when he dang well pleases. He doesn't care who you are. See? He is a very non-discriminating person.